Heteronormativity in the Wedding industry

Ok, so let’s talk wedding biz.

I’ll be honest, the wedding industry is a bit new to me. I’ve always been a planner and have always wanted a front seat in wedding duties for my friends. But the all encompassing vendor side of wedding is, somewhat new to me.

I immediately started noticing that everything was based on the ‘traditional’ model of Bride and Groom. Male and Female. everything from wedding contracts to decorations had single running thread through it, he and she.

The verbiage that surrounds weddings is inherently heteronormative. We’ve recently grown to add ‘Bride and Bride’ or Groom and Groom’ and I guess thats a small step forward. But what about all of our other clients? Have you ever stopped to ask someone you are working with what their preferred pronouns are? Or have you considered how hurtful it might be to see a ‘Mr. and Mrs.’ sign in the venue?

Most of us havnt’t stopped to consider that the language we use everyday, but especially surrounding something as important as a wedding, is integral. We need to be moving towards inclusive verbiage, and to be having identity positive conversations with our clients.

The LGBTQ+ community is not a niche market to be cornered or thought of as a separate entity from our ‘traditional’ wedding industry. Love is love in all its unique facets, and we, as photographers, planners, florists and guests are all here to celebrate just that, LOVE.

JV & Joey

They/Them & He/Him

Styled shoot January ‘19

Florals - Folie a Deux Events

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Gritty Warehouse Wedding in Durham

When River and Adam asked me to shoot their wedding portraits I was really excited.

Knowing them both as creatives and through art I had a feeling it would be something really different.

Adam is a visual artist and part of the DJ visual show Body Games. River is a maker and educator and creator of Riv Tak. Definitely check out both their work.

They decided on ‘the blue room’ at the Durham Fruit, which was also where their wedding would take place a week later. The Durham Fruit is a warehouse turned art space. It is used for theater, photography, dance and other live events. Although it has bee brought up to legal code, it is still very raw and gritty.

I have never had the opportunity to shoot wedding portraits outside of the wedding day. Usually my time with the couples is limited, and often there’s a feeling of hurry! or that we need to get back to the guests. This experience was so different. It was relaxed, low key and so much fun.

We spend hours in different spots in the warehouse, listening to music and laughing. And the result, as you’ll see, was absolutely stunning.

Congratulations to you my friends, your partnership is inspiring and your love infectious.

Full Image Gallery here

Venue-Durham Fruit and Produce

Dress- Riv Tak

Florals- Hana Lee

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